Hi! I’m Sandra…
10 Authentic Facts about Me…
- I’m a Certified Life Coach and a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and blogger.
- I deal with imposter syndrome on a regular basis and wonder, “Who the hell cares what I have to say?”
- I keep writing and talking because I feel called to give women permission to be authentic and real in a world determined to keep up appearances.
- I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse–but I hate that label! In fact, I hate all labels. Why can’t we just be known as children of God?
- I feel as if I was ill-equipped to take on the job of motherhood and when they were young, I often wondered if my kids would have been better off without me.
- I spent the first 40 years of my life dealing with a deep, dark depression. It was a lonely, scary place to be. Working with a psychiatrist to get proper medication was the best thing I ever did for myself.
- I’m a sugar addict. It’s worse than a drug for me. While going through the process of reattaching and repairing my arm, I rarely took narcotics for pain, but I gained 50 pounds because of my sugar intake.
- I’m married to a recovering porn-addict. Although I’ve done the work to separate my self-worth and identity from his addiction, there are still days when doubt creeps in and tells me I’ll never be enough.
- I understand the pain of losing a child through transitioning and the joy of finally getting to know a child who’s been in hiding their entire life.
- I have an innate need to be seen. I’m not sure why…but I’m sick of hiding behind a wall of perfectionism and determined to just be me–like it or not!
A Memoir of Hope and Healing
BY SANDRA JARVIS
Born into a home marked by profound dysfunction, Sandra Jarvis struggles to overcome the messages ingrained throughout her childhood. I’m not worthy. I’m not loveable. I’ll never be enough. The physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse of her childhood, all hidden behind the carefully crafted façade of a model Mormon home, leave her wondering if there really is a God—and if so, what must she do to prove her worth?
She marries young, hoping to escape the misery of her childhood, only to discover that you can’t run from the effects of abuse. Bitterness and anger increase as she’s faced with seemingly endless trials—postpartum depression, a porn-addicted spouse, an LGBTQ child, a cancer diagnosis, overwhelming debt, and fear—constant fear for what the future might hold. With all of this overshadowing her world, Sandra thinks things can’t get any worse.
Then a tragic accident nearly severs her right hand. Although the damage to her hand brings an entirely new set of problems, it also gives Sandra an unexpected opportunity to not only recover, but to begin severing herself from the lies that have always ruled her life, the ones she’s told herself to prove she’s not enough. Only then does she discover that life is just what you make of it, that adversity can make you stronger, and that perhaps, things are exactly the way they are supposed to be.
Severed: a Memoir of Hope and Healing is the powerful true story of finding hope and purpose amid life’s challenges. It provides proof that even in life’s darkest moments, peace is available, perhaps even plentiful.
“If you’d known me ten years ago, you wouldn’t have liked me,” I sometimes tell people when we’re getting to know each other.
My husband always corrects me.
“Everyone liked you,” he says, “you just didn’t like yourself.”
I have to admit, he’s probably right.
The thing is, I thought something was wrong with me. A life filled with trauma and abuse had left me with negative beliefs about myself that were holding me back, keeping me small.
I didn’t think I was enough, which meant I needed to be thinner, funnier, more talented, or better educated in order to be accepted.
And when I looked in the mirror, I was certain I didn’t measure up.
So I went into hiding, making sure that people only saw the polished version of me.
Honestly, I had a great life. An adoring husband, five beautiful children, a nice home, and everything I needed to be happy and healthy. I was living the American Dream!
But the voices in my head told me a different story.
They told me if my kids didn’t get straight A’s, I was failing as a mother.
They told me I needed a college education and a career outside of my home or I would fail as a woman.
They told me my husband’s pornography addiction was my fault and I’d better perform or I would fail as a wife.
They whispered that I had to look perfect, act perfect, worship perfectly, and serve in perfect ways or I would fail as a saint.
They screamed that I was too loud, too opinionated, and too over-bearing so I was failing as a friend.
No matter how hard I tried, the voices in my head made sure I knew that I was failing and I’d never be enough.
Especially if I showed my true colors–the authentic me!
Then on May 9, 2014, a rollover ATV accident nearly severed my right hand.
In the aftermath, I discovered a secret.
The voices had been lying to me all along.
I’d spent decades being deceived by my own perceptions of reality, perceptions that made me believe I had to be better, strive harder, accumulate more and change who I was to be happy.
But it wasn’t true.
While recovering from my physical injuries, my heart began to recover, too. I discovered I could do anything I put my mind to, and when I opened up and lived authentically, I found real connection with the people I loved most. I became an inspiration to the most important person in my life–ME.
That made all the difference!
The world would have us believe that happiness comes from worldly success, the accumulation of more stuff and the careful crafting of a perfect image. The voices inside your head reinforce those messages by creating unrealistic expectations and perfectionistic tendencies.
You want to be happy. You try to be happy. You chase after happiness.
But in truth, nothing can create happiness inside of you–except you–the true authentic YOU!
YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER!
After a lifetime of believing I’d never measure up, I suddenly realized that I am enough, exactly the way I am today.
And so are you.
Each one of us is living the life we were meant to live–and we get to choose what we’ll make of it.
Since discovering this truth, I’ve been on a mission to inspire women like you from all walks of life–moms, grandmas, sisters, teachers, volunteers, entrepreneurs, churchgoers, survivors–to ditch the traps of perfectionism and shame and start living authentically. Together, we work toward consciously creating lives that have meaning, lives that bring out your personal greatness.
This mission is a place for women to come together and support each other through loving encouragement, inspirational messages, and powerful connections.
It’s a place to unlearn the crappy lesson you learned as a child and replace them with truth.
It’s a place to be authentically you without the influence of those voices in your head that have been telling you lies for much of your life.
It’s a place of non-judgment and acceptance.
It’s a place to bring your triumphs and your tragedies, a place to laugh, a place to cry, and a place to celebrate.
It’s a place to learn and grow and be strengthened.
Together, we’re building lives that will quiet the voices and make your world a better place.
Join us on Facebook and Instagram to get involved in the Mission to be Happy.
And check out The Happiness Tribe–coming soon!.
10 other facts about me…
- I’m the mother to five adult children and grandmother to six of the cutest kids on the planet.
- I’ve been married to my husband, Jim, for 32 years and counting…
- I’ve had more than 30 surgeries in my life, 20 of them in the 4 1/2 year period between May 2014-December 2018 focused on reattaching and repairing my right hand and arm.
- I love chocolate. I mean REALLY love chocolate!
- My closet is organized like a rainbow–except it’s missing purple because I don’t own any purple clothes.
- As a teenager, I could get through the first 15 levels of Pac-Man without losing a life. Goals, man…
- In 2019, I published my memoir, SEVERED. I’ve sold over 1000 copies since it was released.
- I listen to Christmas music year round. It never gets old to me!
- My favorite color is green. It always has been. That’s probably why I love living in the middle of a rain forest–there’s green everywhere!
- I love Disneyland and have visited more than 100 times in my life. I quit counting after that…who knows how many times I’ve been today!
The Happiness Tribe
Group coaching for women who are ready to ditch the traps of perfectionism and shame
and replace them with peace, contentment, and joy.
Members gather each week for topic-focused, inspirational instruction and opportunities to participate in live coaching. Check it out by clicking the "Join the Tribe" link above.
Currently, The Happiness Tribe is looking for 20 women to participate in a three-month beta program at a discounted rate. If you're interested, fill out the contact form below
and we'll get back to you with additional information soon!