Today is a special day for our family.
It’s the re-birth day for one of our children.
Twenty-five years ago, a baby boy was born.
Today, that boy officially becomes a woman.
This is a sensitive topic, and I know many won’t agree with the things I have to say, but whether you agree or not, it’s an issue that isn’t going away.
A Transitioning Heart
When our daughter first came out as transgender, we didn’t react as well as we should have. Honestly, we were shocked.
We were also dealing with centuries of conditioning that had taught us it was a sin–something evil–or at the very least, a mental deficiency of some sort.
There are many opinions about transgenderism and many arguments on both sides about its validity. I don’t pretend to understand it, nor do I think I know how it feels to live through it. But as the mother of a transgender child, I do have an understanding of what it’s like to watch your child transition and to have your heart transition along with them.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that my child, who had always been depressed, unsettled, and angry, has become happy and at peace with herself. Her transition didn’t just happen on the outside, it happened on the inside, as well.
And as I watched her settle into herself, it served as proof to me that this is the path she is meant to take.
But it’s not possible…or is it?
In Christianity, there’s a popular opinion that transgenderism can’t be real because God doesn’t make mistakes. Well-meaning saints often point this out, citing that “it’s not possible because God wouldn’t put a woman inside a man’s body.”
I agree. God doesn’t make mistakes. So in my mind, that leaves only two possibilities.
#1: It wasn’t a mistake.
Perhaps transgenderism is simply another trial that builds character and strength. We all have that thing that tests and tries us. Maybe for you, it’s financial struggles or the inability to have children. For someone else, it might be childhood abuse or cancer. And another person might have to deal with the death of a loved one or a freak accident that severs their hand.
Whatever your trial may be, it’s not a mistake. It’s simply part of mortality. This life is all about learning and growing and getting stronger. And our trials accomplish that for us.
#2: God doesn’t make mistakes, but nature makes them all the time!
I sometimes laugh when the “God doesn’t make mistakes” theory is presented. In order to make that stick, every child ever born would have to be perfect–which is not the case!
Babies are born with defects every day.
Some are born with a cleft palate or a club foot. Others are born with Down’s Syndrome. Still others have congenital heart defects or obvious deformities. The list goes on and on.
Some are also born with both genitalia…so isn’t it possible that some could be born with the wrong genitalia?
It makes sense to me…
Babies born with birth defects often grow up ostracized and isolated, too. But they shouldn’t.
As humans, we should be better than that!
Love wins…every time!
Here’s the thing.
As a mother of a transgender child, I’m intimately aware of the pain she has suffered throughout her life–pain that was largely inflicted by a society willing to dismiss those who are different and judge them without understanding. It’s unfortunate that such prejudice exists, but it does.
We’ve come a long way in the past decade toward tolerating our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.
The next step is love.
As the daughter of a gay man and the mother of a trans-woman, I’ve seen the pain and frustration that comes from bullying, rude remarks, blatant stares, and biases.
But I believe we are better than that.
I believe we can rise above the traditions of our fathers and simply love.
Because love wins…every time!
Happy Re-birth Day, dear daughter!
I’ve often wished I could go back and handle your coming out differently.
I wish I would have held you and let you know that I’d be there no matter what path you chose to take
I wish I’d emphasized my love, rather than my fear.
But know this…
Today, on your Re-birth Day, I want you to know that I love the beautiful woman you’ve become. You had a rocky start to life with more trials than anyone deserves, but you are full of potential and I can’t wait to see the things you’ll accomplish and who you’ll become going forward.
A Bit of Gratitude
To all who have supported and loved our daughter throughout her transition, thank you! Your love and kindness did not go unnoticed.